Giving Up My Chance at Forever_Prequel Read online

  Rummaging around my mess, I look for my backpack, which I haven’t seen in months. Finally, I find it in the corner of the room, buried under stacks of trash and clothes. I throw it on my shoulder and head downstairs.

  My dad and Mason are already up, dressed, and ready. They’re in the kitchen sitting around the unfinished bar. Mason has a bowl of cereal, and Dad sits with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

  I pour myself a cup of coffee and lean against the counter.

  “You boys will have to take care of dinner for yourselves tonight. We’re breaking ground on the bar and grill today,” he tells us.

  “Not it!” I shout.

  Mason nods his head. “Like I’d eat anything you cook anyway.”

  “Dane, while Mason is at practice, you need to finish up that jet ski. I trust that your brother showed you everything yesterday.” He doesn’t bother taking his eyes off the paper he’s reading.

  I roll my eyes. “Oh, come on, Dad. It’s the first day of school. Can’t I be a normal kid for once and hang out with my friends?”

  His back straightens, and his eyes shoot up to glare at me. He doesn’t like it when I talk back. “You can…after you finish your work. I’m not paying you for nothing.” He stands and places his cup in the sink. “Better get going. You’re going to be late.”

  With that, Mason jumps into action. His bowl is in the sink and his backpack is on before I can even turn around. “Later, Dad,” he says as he runs for the door.

  I shake my head and place my cup in the sink.

  “It wouldn’t kill you to be a little more like him, you know?” He points in the direction Mason took off running.

  I shake my head. “Well, I’m not like him. I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want to be some star soccer player. And, I don’t want your life either.” I shove past him and head to the car.

  I don’t know what’s so hard for him to understand. I’m not Mason. I’m not the golden child. I’m the fuck up. I’m the one that likes to sneak out of the house, go to parties, and have a good time. I do nothing but serve as the bad example around here.

  Don’t get me wrong, I know I have anger issues and an attitude problem, but I try to keep them in check. It doesn’t help when I’m constantly expected to be like my little brother. Trust me, I wish I was like him. My life would be much easier if I was, but I can’t force myself to be someone I’m not.

  Mason bitches the whole way to school, worrying that we’re going to be late on our first day. When I roll into the parking lot, he jumps from the car before it’s even stopped.

  “Class will still be there, you know?” I throw the car into park.

  “Fuck off, Dane. I like being on time. I’m getting out of this town.” He laughs. “You’ll probably get stuck running Dad’s new bar and grill for the rest of your life.” He turns and runs toward the school.

  Fucker. He’s probably right. There’s no chance I’m getting out of this town.

  I get out and lean against the driver’s side door, checking out my surroundings. Everything is the same, despite it being a new year. The same cliques are already forming. The same group of stoners stand in the back of the parking lot, smoking it up. The same dorks stand under the tree as they look over books. And then the popular girls and jocks stand around their expensive cars, having a pissing contest and bidding for each other’s attention.

  And then there’s me. I don’t fit in with any of them. I sure as hell ain’t going to spend my free time reading. I like to smoke on occasion, but not first thing in the morning before going to class — that’s something reserved for parties only. And the jocks, I’d rather beat their asses than to ever be caught dead with them.

  “Have you seen her yet?” Sean asks as he joins me against the side of my car.

  “Seen who?” I ask, still looking around.

  “Alissa, the new girl.”

  I shake my head. “Na, I haven’t seen her.”

  “Too bad. I’m calling dibs.”

  I look at him and laugh. “You know she’ll pick me over you.” I look at his short, neatly styled, blond hair. He’s wearing a dark blue polo shirt and khakis. No way will she go for him, a total dork, over me.

  Who am I kidding? I haven’t even seen this girl yet. She may be nothing like he described.

  Sean laughs. “I’ve already started laying the ground work with this one. I bet she would’ve given it up Saturday night if I’d tried.”

  I roll my eyes. “You wouldn’t know what to do with it even if she did give it up.”

  “Yeah right,” comes his epic reply.

  After a few minutes of silence, he points across the parking lot. “There she is.”

  My eyes follow his hand, where I see a tall, blonde girl get out of a beat-up S-10. She pushes her long hair away from her face as she reaches across the seat, pulling out her backpack and putting it on. When she steps from between her truck and another car, I get a full view of her.

  She’s wearing cut-off jean shorts and a ripped-up Nirvana t-shirt. The sleeves have been cut off, and she has it tied just above her bellybutton. Her Chuck Taylor’s are dirty and worn, and her long, tan legs tease me with every step.

  “I’m overriding your dibs,” I tell Sean as she walks closer to us.

  “Fuck you. I already called it. Didn’t I tell you she was hot?”

  “She’s not your type of hot though,” I argue while crossing my arms over my chest.

  “What’s that mean?” He seems offended.

  “Look at you. You go for pep squad girls. Not rocker girls like that.” I nod in her direction. I lick my lips while watching her walk closer and closer to me.

  My eyes never leave her as she walks by. She offers up a small smile as her eyes look me up and down.

  “Hey, Alissa,” Sean says, standing up straight.

  She spins around and takes the few steps back to us with a wide smile. “Hi, Sean is it?”

  “Yeah. How was your weekend?”

  She shrugs her tan shoulder. “It was alright. Who’s this?” She nods toward me.

  It suddenly occurs to me that I’ve been standing here, staring at her this whole time. “I’m Dane,” I tell her with a cocky grin that makes her smile brighten. Girls can’t deny what I’m asking for when I shoot them my grin. “Can I walk you in?”

  “Yeah, sure,” she replies, the corners of her mouth turning up into a coy smile.

  I smack Sean in the stomach as I stand up straight and walk to her side.

  “I’m going to get you back for that,” Sean calls out from behind me. I look over my shoulder and hold up my middle finger with a smile.

  He’s pissed I stole his girl right out from under him, but she isn’t his girl. And she never will be. Even though I’ve just met this girl and I know nothing about her, she’s mine.

  “So, where’d you move from?” I ask her as we walk toward the doors.

  “Um, just a few towns over. I’m in the foster care system, and I just got placed with a new family here.” Pausing outside the school, we lean against the brick wall.

  “So, you don’t have any parents?”

  She offers up a big but forced smile. “Nope.”

  Even though a smile’s in place, I see pain behind it. “I’m sorry.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s nothing for you to be sorry about. I was taken from my mom when I was still a baby. I don’t even remember her. I bounced around from place to place, ending up with foster parents who took me for the money. It’s always been just me.” She crosses her arms over her full chest and diverts her eyes to the ground.

  I turn to face her, leaning my shoulder against the wall. “My mom died a long time ago. It’s just my dad, my brother, and me.” Why the hell am I telling her this? Maybe so she doesn’t feel so alone?

  “I’m sorry, but at least you still have family.” She still doesn’t look at me. I don’t know why, but I want her eyes on me.

  Something about this girl makes me want to reach out an
d touch her. I can’t fight the pull she has on me. Placing my hand under her chin, I lift her head until she’s looking at me. “I’ll be your family,” I say, giving her the same grin as earlier.

  She lets out a small laugh. “What kind of pick up line is that?”

  I shrug. “It’s not one. I just want to get to know you, that’s all.”

  She studies me for a long minute. Her mouth drops open to say something else, but the bell rings, cutting her off. Adjusting her backpack higher on her shoulder, she nods toward the doors. “Want to show me where the office is?”

  I push myself off the wall. “Oh yeah, I’ve been there plenty of times.”

  She shakes her head with a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

  I walk by her side while the herd of students moves toward the doors alongside us. Surrounded by a sea of people, she takes my hand in hers. I look down at our conjoined hands, feeling a tingle of electric current ripple through me, and back up to her smile.

  “Just to let you know…” I can’t contain my grin. “This is way better than a stupid pick up line.”

  She laughs, and her blue eyes light up, sealing my fate.

  I don’t know this girl, but I want to be the only person to make her eyes light up like that for the rest of my life.

  “Have lunch with me?” I lean against the locker next to hers.

  Her eyes flash over to me, and she smiles and nods. “Okay.”

  I wait for her to put her belongings away and lead her down the hall and out to my car. We drive over to the local pizza joint in silence.

  I’m normally cool around girls, but she makes me feel different. We connect on some level I’ve never felt before. And God help me, because I can’t put my finger on what it is that draws me to her.

  She’s gorgeous, that’s easy to see. But there’s something about her that makes me feel like she’s broken, and I’m the only one who can fix her. Like she needs me. I’ve never been needed by another person in my whole life.

  When I shut off the engine, I rush to meet her around the car. I want to reach out and take her hand in mine, but that isn’t my style. Actually, taking girls out to lunch isn’t my style. But it seems I’m breaking all my rules for this girl. So, I reach for her hand. When our fingers touch, tingles form in the pit of my stomach. She quickly glances down at our hands and then up to my face with a nervous smile. Maybe she felt it too.

  We find a small, two-person booth in the back and sit down. The waitress comes to the table and asks us what we’ll have. I order two lunch specials, which consists of two slices of pepperoni pizza and a soda, and she walks away to put in our order.

  I watch Alissa as she sits across from me. Her hands rest on top of the red and white checkered tablecloth, and her fingers twist together nervously, making the dozens of bracelets on her wrists jingle. Her eyes bounce from one thing to the next as she chews on her bottom lip. I study her for a while, trying to figure out what she’s so nervous about. Finally, when I can’t take the awkward silence anymore, I lean in and ask, “Do I make you nervous?”

  She lets out a small, quiet laugh. “Kind of.”

  The waitress sets down two Styrofoam cups full of soda and walks away. When she’s gone, I look back at Alissa and lean in once again. “Why are you nervous? If anyone should be nervous, it should be me.”

  Her blue eyes flash to mine before she places her straw in her cup and takes a sip. “I don’t know, actually. I mean, I’ve been on dates before, and most of my old friends were guys… But there’s something different about you.” She tears her eyes from mine, looking at her cup. “Why are you nervous?”

  I shrug and lean back, trying to play it cool. “I’m not nervous,” I lie, but she hears it in my voice.

  Her eyes snap back up to mine and her smile widens. “Yeah, right.”

  My brows furrow together. “What? I’m not.”

  She rolls her eyes with her smile still in place. “Okay, so I guess I’m just supposed to believe you sweat like that all the time?”

  I quickly wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. “No, it’s just hot in here. Aren’t you hot?”

  She laughs and shakes her head as the waitress sets two plates in front of us. I hand over a twenty and wave off the change. As I watch, she grabs the parmesan cheese and dumps it all over her pizza. I do the same but with the red pepper flakes. Her eyes double in size when she sees the amount that spills onto my pizza from watching her instead of what I’m doing.

  “Shit.” I pick up the pizza and try shaking some off. All the while, she laughs at me around a mouthful.

  “What’s so funny? I like it this way.” I take a big bite and force myself to chew and swallow it — despite the burning of my tongue.

  I wipe my mouth with a napkin and lean back, fighting the urge to take a drink.

  Her eyebrow lifts as she watches me. She picks up her pizza, takes another bite, and chews — all while never taking her eyes off me and my reddening face.

  When I can’t take the burn any longer, I grab my soda and suck half of it down before taking a long breath to cool the fire burning on my tongue. When I lean back to take a breather, she erupts in laughter before handing over her second slice.

  “Here, this is much better than that nasty mess you just made.”

  I take the slice she’s offering me and take a bite. “Thank you. I guess maybe I am a little nervous after all.”

  Her cheeks turn to light shade of pink before she tears her gaze from mine.

  I push away the two slices of pizza covered in red pepper flakes and eat the slice she offered me.

  We eat in silence, not in any hurry to talk or get to know one another. I don’t know how I know this, but already I can tell that Alissa is going to play a huge part in my life. There’s no need to rush anything with her.

  We have plenty of time to get to know one another. Right now, I just want to sit across from her and enjoy watching her blue eyes light up and her cheeks turn that light shade of pink.

  Chapter Two

  Dane

  “Dane!” Mason yells from the kitchen.

  I was walking toward the stairs, but I turn on my heels and lean against the island, watching as he moves about the kitchen.

  “Dinner’s done,” he says, handing me a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.

  I take the plate and roll my eyes. “Eggs again?”

  He throws his hands up in the air. “What do you want from me, Dane? I don’t know how to cook anything else!”

  I laugh. “Alright, it’s fine. Let’s eat.”

  We both take our plates to the living room. I plop down on the couch and grab the remote. I flip through a dozen static-filled channels before finally stopping on an old football game.

  “We seriously need to get cable,” Mason complains.

  “Yeah well, that’ll never happen.”

  He looks at me with his fork raised, mid-bite. “Why not?”

  “Because Dad is a cheapskate, and he knows if he gets cable, we’ll end up parked in front of the TV instead of doing his work.” I scoop my eggs and bacon up on my toast and eat it like a sandwich.

  He shakes his head and groans, “Dad’s not that bad, Dane.”

  “What do you call making us re-build this house and work at the shop?”

  He shrugs. “Helping out. He’s only one person. He can’t do it all on his own.”

  “Yeah, I guess. It’d be nice to get to be a kid once in a while though. When’s the last time you hung out with your friends after school?”

  “I don’t ever remember doing that. I’ve always had soccer or work.”

  “My point exactly. You’re fourteen, you should be out causing trouble, not working on boats.”

  “I’m fine with my life, Dane. My plan is to work hard and get out of this town. I want to play soccer for Notre Dame.”

  I laugh. “Good luck with that. Dad will probably guilt you into running his shop.” I roll my eyes.

  He shrugs. �
��Why will he need me? We all know you ain’t going anywhere.” He laughs.

  I punch him on the arm. “Fuck that. He doesn’t own me. I’ll pack up my guitar and play on street corners before I take over business for him.”

  Mason gets quiet and focuses on the TV. I can’t keep my mind from wondering though. Is he right? Will I be stuck in this small town forever? Will I get stuck running Dad’s business, never getting out or making a life for myself?

  Suddenly, my appetite is gone. I shove off the couch and toss my food in the trash before setting the plate in the sink. It’s starting to get dark, and I know my dad will be home soon, but I need to get out of the house and his strict rules. Grabbing my keys, I tell Mason I’ll be back.

  An hour later, I’m in town and the sun has set. When I drive by the shop, my dad’s truck is still there. I’m sure he’s watching the construction crew build the new bar and grill. Pressing the gas, I pass it by and stop at the arcade. Inside I find Sean.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Whoa, how’d you escape?”

  I shrug and rest against the wall. “He doesn’t know I’m gone.” Chuckling, I look over the place to see who’s here.

  Several people I know from school are here, but none that I want to talk to, and not the one person I was actually hoping to see.

  “So, how’d your lunch date go?” He doesn’t hide the bitterness dripping from his voice.

  I stand up straight. “I’m sorry, man. I know you called dibs and everything. But I couldn’t help myself.”

  He puffs out his chest. “You broke the bro code.”

  I push my hair away from my eyes. “I know. And I get why you’re mad, but you have to understand my side of things.”

  “And what side is that? Your dick thinks for you?”

  I shrug. “Whatever. If you want to be pissed that’s fine, but I’m not dropping her.”

  “You’re not dropping her? So, there’s something to drop?”

  Taking a deep breath, I look around the arcade again. “Yeah, I guess there is. I like her, and she likes me,” I say with a shrug. “I’m not letting you come between that. She’s the first girl I’ve actually been interested in.”