A Second Chance at Forever (Chance #2) Read online

  Knowing I needed something to get me through the day, I made the short walk up to the bar and sat down.

  Why am I letting myself get so upset about this? I haven’t seen or heard from Lennox in years. If this isn’t enough to get over her, I don’t know what is.

  I ordered a shot and threw it back at record speed. I ordered another and a beer to wash it down. I tossed back the second shot as soon as it was placed on the bar and started sipping on my beer while thinking about a time when Lennox was mine.

  My vision was blurring when I noticed the time, I went ahead and ordered lunch when I saw Nicole walk in.

  I stood from my barstool and walked beside her to sit at a table.

  “Did you order already?” she asked as we sat down across from one another.

  “Yeah, but Wendy will be here in a minute. What did you want to talk about?” I reminded myself to keep my temper in check. I knew she didn’t deserve any shit from me.

  “Well,” she started, but stopped when Wendy brought me another beer and took her order.

  She looked nervous, her eyes darted from me to her hands that were sitting on the table messing with her bracelets. When Wendy walked away, she brought her eyes back to mine.

  “Okay, I was wanting to talk about us.”

  “Us?” I asked, confused.

  “I know when we started this whole thing that we were both in it for the same reason, but I can’t keep it up any longer.” She dropped her eyes back to her hands and shook her head.

  “Can’t keep what up? Are you not wanting to see me anymore?” I almost hoped for a yes. If she said yes, I wouldn’t have had to keep up the charade any longer. I wouldn’t have had to feel guilty about fucking her while thinking about my ex-girlfriend.

  “No, that’s not it,” she released the bracelet she was playing with before bringing her eyes back to mine. “I want you, only you. I want to date. I can’t keep this up, I’m falling for you.” Her green eyes stayed locked with mine. More than anything, I wished they were Lennox’s eyes. Nicole’s eyes didn’t shine the way Lennox’s did. They couldn’t light up a room like hers either.

  I took a deep breath and released it. I sat up, took a drink, and let out a breath. Rubbing my forehead, I finally brought my eyes back to her. “I’m not good with relationships. There’s a reason we’ve been doing what we’re doing.” It felt like my heart was in my throat. I didn’t want Nicole. I wanted Lennox, but she wasn’t there.

  “I know,” she nodded her head agreeing. “I understand if you don’t want to pursue things with me, but I can’t keep doing what we’re doing. If I can’t have all of you, I don’t want any of you.”

  I didn’t understand where she was coming from. She actually wanted to be with me? After the way I’d been treating her?

  I dropped my eyes to my beer bottle and shook my head, not knowing what to say to her. I started peeling off the red and white label thinking over everything.

  “Is this something we can at least try? I’m not expecting you to drop everything for me, I just can’t help it. I think I’m falling in love with you and I can’t keep doing what we’re doing, knowing it will never be anything more than just fucking around.”

  Fuck. What do I say to that?

  I decided right then, it was something I needed to try.

  Why?

  Another attempt to get over Lennox. She was getting married. She wasn’t coming back. I couldn’t keep my life on hold for her any longer.

  But finally committing to another woman would be like giving up on Lennox altogether. I promised her I would wait. Does she still think I’m waiting? Probably not, why else would she be getting married?

  I forced myself to look at her hopeful green eyes. “Okay. We can try, but I’m not making any promises it will work out or that I won’t fuck this up. I haven’t done this whole relationship thing in a long time.”

  The smile that spread across her face said it all. For once, instead of making her feel like shit, I made her smile. Out of true happiness, not from giving her some smart-ass comment.

  We had lunch together where I finally gave her my full attention. I forced Lennox from my mind and actually looked at Nicole and saw her for her, instead of someone that looked like Lennox. When I finished my beer, Nicole reached out and held my hand as I walked her out to her car.

  “Can we get together after practice to celebrate?” Her eyes met mine, they held so much excitement, I couldn’t tell her no.

  I nodded. “That would be great.” I moved in for a kiss.

  For the first time, I kissed her. Like, really kissed her. Not the kind I had been giving her while fucking her, but a real kiss. Slow and tender. She could automatically tell the difference. When I broke away, her fingers touched her lips.

  “Someone has been holding out on me,” she teased while smiling up at me.

  I stood there and watched her drive away, wondering what I had gotten myself into.

  How can I be in a relationship with Nicole when I don’t even have my heart? Lennox does, but I have to take it back. It’s time, I can’t wait any longer. I’m broken and I know Nicole isn’t the girl that can fix me, but I have to try something. Can I do this with Nicole? Will she one day notice the love that she doesn’t have from me and wonder where my real love lies?

  2

  Lennox

  From the moment I accepted Chis’ proposal, I regretted it. We had only been together for six months. What was I thinking?

  I just buckled under the pressure.

  I can back out. I can’t back out, it’s already been released.

  I pulled myself from his bed and went to take a shower to think over the worst decision of my life.

  I turned on the water and let it heat up before stepping inside. When I closed the glass door behind me, I was instantly hit with memories from years before.

  “You said to make myself at home. I needed a shower too.” My eyes locked on his. I watched his chest as it rose and fell. His jaw flexed as his Adam’s Apple bobbed and he ran his tongue across his bottom lip. I let my eyes fall to his large erection. Without thinking, I wrapped my hand around him and moved up and down, slowly. Finally, his lips crashed into mine.

  Just from thinking about Mason’s lips pressed to mine caused my heart to pound and my breathing to become labored. My skin broke out in goosebumps despite the hot flow of water.

  I shook my head to make the images of the past leave me. I had a problem and didn’t need Mason’s memory hanging out in my head distracting me. I needed to find a way out of the mess I had gotten myself into. I didn’t love Chris. I was still Mason’s completely.

  Mason was the only guy I had ever loved. He guided me and told me exactly what he thought, when he thought it, instead of telling me what I wanted to hear. I knew I never should have left him. He promised me that we would be together forever, but forever was much shorter than I thought it would be.

  I understood why he called it off. He couldn’t stand to watch me with another guy, even if it was for publicity. He couldn’t stand to be away from me and not see or talk to me every day. I knew that, but I was selfish.

  I left hoping it wasn’t the last time we saw each other but knowing it probably was. I tried to keep him. I tried my hardest; that’s what I told myself anyway.

  Honestly, I could have tried harder.

  I was thrown into a completely different world and I wasn’t prepared for any of it. I was pushed and pulled in so many directions, I was surprised I was still in one piece. I was told where I was going and who I was going with. It was like I signed my life away. I told myself that it was what I wanted. But somewhere along the way, what I wanted changed. I was just too blind to see it until it was too late.

  What happened to the girl that went barefoot everywhere she could? What happened to the girl that wore cut off jean shorts and spent the days lying in bed with the man she loved? What happened to controlling my own life? I miss that girl.

  If I would have thought for o
ne minute, that Mason would’ve taken me back after the pain I had caused him, I would have left all the fame behind. I would’ve given away every penny I had made to go back to him.

  But how can I ask him to take me back? After I broke his heart and strung him along for a year with empty promises.

  “Get your ass off the shower floor and stop feeling sorry for yourself. This is the life you wanted. The life you chose,” I told myself.

  I washed quickly and made my way back into Chis’ bedroom, where he was lying in bed waiting for me.

  I started picking my clothes up off the floor to get dressed and head back home, but he had other ideas.

  “What are you doing? You’re not going anywhere.” He reached out and caught me by the wrist, pulling me back onto the bed.

  I squealed when I fell into his soft bed.

  He wrapped his strong arms around me and looked over my body like I was a piece of meat.

  The look automatically turned me off. “Chis, I really do need to get going,”

  He didn’t want to hear it though. He moved to cover my body with his. His blonde hair fell into his eyes with the motion, but he quickly pushed it back and lowered himself to me.

  “You don’t leave until I say.” He offered me a cocky smile before pressing his lips to mine, forcefully.

  I used to like the aggressive side he had, but with Mason on my brain, I missed that soft touch I used to feel.

  I let the kiss go on for a minute before breaking away. “Chris, I really have to go.” I lightly pressed against his muscular chest.

  He overpowered me by grabbing my wrists and pinning them above my head before trailing kisses down my neck and chest.

  I wiggled beneath him. “I’m serious, I have to go.”

  “I said, no!” He pulled away quickly and before I could process anything, he smacked me across the face. It hurt but surprised me more than anything.

  My hand automatically flew to my cheek, that was numb, and I froze with my eyes locked on him. His already dark eyes seemed darker as his chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing.

  Before I knew what was happening, Chris was up and stomping off to the bathroom. I laid there stunned, unable to move from shock. I couldn’t believe he smacked me. I felt the tears sting my eyes, not from pain but from the shock, embarrassment, and anger. I felt the anger swell up inside of me that’s what brought me back.

  I jumped from the bed and put my clothes on quietly. I was afraid he would hear me trying to leave and come back. I didn’t know what he would do.

  Will he say he’s sorry? Will he hit me again for trying to leave?

  I made my way from the bedroom holding my jacket and shoes against my chest. I walked through the apartment quickly, checking behind me every few steps. When I reached the door, I opened it and practically ran to the elevator.

  Inside the quiet elevator, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I tried to calm my breathing while sliding my shoes on with shaking hands. When the elevator opened, I ran from the building and hailed a cab.

  I don’t remember much of the drive home; my head was elsewhere. The driver asked where I was headed and I mumbled off my address, still in a daze. He tried talking to me but I couldn’t hold a conversation. There were so many things going through my mind.

  Once we arrived, I tossed him a hundred bucks and ran from the cab and into my building. I felt like everything would be fine as long as I could get inside my apartment where I could shut out the world.

  Inside the comfort of my own apartment, I slammed the door shut behind me and slid down it, crying on the floor.

  How could I let something like this happen? How could I be so stupid and get involved with someone like that?

  He had never raised a hand to me in any negative way, but looking back, the signs were there.

  He lost his temper when anything didn’t go his way. He didn’t scream or throw a fit but you could see the anger rise up in him. His face would turn red and his eyes, they held darkness I didn’t like to look at when he was mad.

  My thoughts slowly drifted off to Mason as they always did when I’d had a bad day. I thought of our days together and wished he was there to hold me. He was always so patient and sweet. He always told me that he would wait for as long as he had to.

  What if he’s still waiting? He couldn’t be, could he?

  I pulled myself from the floor and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I grabbed my computer off the coffee table and threw myself back on the sofa.

  I found him on social media and started looking at his wall. Most of his pictures were of the shop. Pictures of the boats he owned, the rental counter with Trent behind it, Joey in the store, sitting behind the counter like always.

  Then, I found a picture of him and a girl. She had long dark hair and green eyes. He had his arm wrapped around her neck while she held on around his waist. She was beaming her best smile while he gave his cocky grin that I always loved. They looked happy.

  Instantly, I felt jealous. It turned my stomach to see him happy with another girl. I closed the computer and shoved it away from me like the picture would jump from the screen. “I guess that answers that question.”

  I decided to take another shower in an attempt to wash away the memory of my morning.

  I stepped out of the shower and wiped the moisture away from the mirror. My skin was red from the hot water and all the scrubbing I did. I tried to wash every inch of me that Chis had touched.

  I inspected my cheek, it was still red. I could see each individual finger mark he left on me. I forced my eyes away from the mirror, not wanting to see what I had turned into. It almost hurt to look at the reflection of myself. Once full of happiness and love, all that was left was anger, disappointment, and regret.

  Just thinking over the situation made me want to reach for that special black label I had grown to love. I forced the thought away, it was only ten in the morning.

  I headed toward my room to find some clothes. Looking through my dresser, I heard my phone beep. I picked up the phone knowing who’s name I’d see.

  I had four missed calls and two text messages from Chis. I didn’t bother with his messages and called my assistant instead.

  “About time you called,” Alissa said when she picked up the phone.

  “Hey, sorry I just got home. What’s up?” I sat on the edge of my bed, still wrapped in my towel.

  “Everything. Have you forgotten how close it is to the awards? You still have to pick out your dress and get it altered.”

  I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve just been busy with Chris and the engagement has thrown me off. Schedule it for whenever, you know my schedule better than I do.” I began picking at a thread on the towel as a distraction.

  “Is today okay?”

  I took a deep breath. That was the last thing I wanted to do. “Yeah, get all the dresses here and we can go through them.”

  We said our good-byes and I tossed the phone down. I threw myself back on my bed staring up at the white ceiling.

  That picture I saw on Mason’s profile was haunting me. I didn’t think he would’ve still been holding out for me, but a part of me hoped that he would. I was still his, even though we hadn’t spoken in years.

  Suddenly the life I could’ve had started to play out before my eyes. I saw myself in that picture instead of that other girl. I saw Mason and I sitting together on his balcony, my stomach swollen with our first baby. I could see the love in his eyes like he was standing right in front of me. My heart picked up just from picturing those intense ice-blue eyes.

  No good will come of this, Lennox. Stop it before you get lost in a life you will never have.

  I made myself stop daydreaming and forced myself to get dressed. I felt off, depression was sitting over me. I knew I had fucked up my life.

  Don’t get me wrong, I loved being able to go on tour and perform for millions of people, but I wasn’t sure it was worth the cost.

  I though
t about that ride home from Mason’s. How fate was offering me two roads, and I was only allowed to choose one.

  I picked the wrong road.

  Shortly after the phone call, Alissa was letting herself and a few others into my apartment to set up the racks of dresses.

  Alissa had been my assistant since I went to Tennessee. She was only a couple years older than me and very easy to get along with. I thought of her as more of a friend than someone who worked for me. We were so close that she followed me to California when I moved so she could continue to work for me.

  Alissa picked up a dress and tossed it down. “What’s with you today, you don’t seem like yourself?”

  “I don’t know. I just feel like I’m stuck in a rut, you know?”

  “Stuck in a rut? Are you crazy? You just accepted a marriage proposal from the hottest actor in town!” Her voice was laced with excitement that made her blue eyes shine from beneath her black framed glasses.

  I forced a smile, trying not to give anything away, but I knew that it didn’t meet my eyes. “I’m not exactly sure that I’m going to go through with it.” I shook my head while keeping my eyes on the dresses.

  “What? Why?” Her face showed nothing but concern as she handed me another dress.

  I eyed the long beige dress that shimmered when the light hit it and tossed it onto the couch. “It’s not something I can talk about right now.” My eyes bounced around to all the random people surrounding us.

  Alissa nodded understanding and dropped the subject before looking through more dresses.

  After hours of looking at dresses, I had finally made my decision.

  It was a long, flat black dress. It was strapless and hugged all my curves perfectly until it reached my knees where it flowed out. It was beautiful, but not over the top. Classic, as Alissa called it.

  Alissa told everyone to pack up and they began shuffling around me, rolling the racks of dresses out the door. Once the last rack was rolled out and Alissa and I were left alone, we made our way to my office where I pulled out a bottle of Jack. I turned around and grabbed two glasses off the cart and poured us both a drink.